When Loss First Occurs

Profound Despair

Navigating Profound Despair
In the stage of Profound Despair, a widow/er may feel the very foundation of our world has crumbled, leaving an abyss of endless sorrow

The future, once brimming with shared dreams and companionship, now appears shrouded in darkness, devoid of the warmth we once cherished.

Each day may feel like an insurmountable mountain to climb, navigating the treacherous terrain of grief and grappling with overwhelming emotions. We may find ourselves adrift in a sea of memories, longing for the touch, laughter and presence of our beloved partner. In the wake of such profound loss, we may feel utterly lost and alone, as if a vital piece of ourselves has been torn away. The incomprehensible emptiness that pervades existence, casts a shadow over even the simplest joys of life.

Are you in this stage?

Emotional, Mental, & Physical Indicators

Experiencing Profound Despair in widowhood can manifest in a variety of emotional, mental, and physical indicators. Here are some common ones:

Emotional Indicators

1. Overwhelming sadness, grief, emptiness and loneliness.

2. Anger or resentment towards the situation or others.

3. Emotional numbness or detachment.

Mental Indicators

1. Cognitive fog or difficulty concentrating.

2. Forgetfulness or absent-mindedness.

3. Feelings of confusion, hopelessness or helplessness.

Physical Indicators

1. Extreme fatigue, lack of energy, disturbed sleep patterns, insomnia or oversleeping.

2. Physical aches and pains, headaches or migraines.

3. Digestive issues which may affect eating habits.

It’s important to note that individuals may experience these indicators to varying degrees, and seeking support from loved ones, support groups, or mental health professionals can be instrumental in navigating the complexities of grief during the profound despair stage.


Each of us heals in our own unique way. Be sure to keep this in mind and explore what will work best for you.

Some actions you can take to help you move forward from Profound Despair include:

Acknowledge One Positive Thought:

Each day, recognize one small positive moment such as appreciating a beautiful sunrise or feeling grateful for a friend’s kindness.

Engage in a Simple Self-Care Activity:

Spend a few minutes on a simple self-care activity, such as taking a short walk, enjoying a warm cup of tea, or practicing deep breathing exercises to promote relaxation.

Reach Out to Someone:

Send a brief text message or email to a trusted friend or family member, even if it’s just to say hello or share a brief update on how you’re feeling. Connecting with others, even in small ways, can help alleviate feelings of isolation.

Set a Small Goal for the Day:

Set a manageable goal, such as completing a household chore, going for a brief outing, or spending a few minutes engaging in a hobby or activity you enjoy.

Reflect on a Happy Memory:

Take a moment to reflect on a happy time shared with your spouse, focusing on the love and joy you experienced. Allow yourself to feel gratitude for the time you had together, even amidst the pain of loss.

Practice Self-Compassion:

Offer yourself words of kindness and positivity, acknowledging the difficulty of your journey and reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel the way you do. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend in need.

It’s important to note that moving on from the stage of Profound Despair is a gradual and ongoing process, and individuals may experience setbacks or moments of doubt along the way. We are each on our own path and timeline for healing. It is important not to compare yourself or compete with others.

Looking for
personalized support?

We’re here for you. Complete this form to receive a free 15-minute phone call with tailored guidance based on our expertise.

This site uses cookies

We use cookies to personalize your experience on this website. For more information, view our Privacy Policy.